Some Random New Records

 

Beans - End It All: abr0108LP73FUKA03

 Yep, that's my special one time only digital download code from the record, free for the first person that gives a fuck. Personally I'm a bit bored by it. Beans has this staccato, monotone style that would be great as part of a crew, but just gets old quick when left on it's own. 

 Most of the "songs" seem unfinished. No intro, outro, or changes. Perhaps he just got some loops from strangers and rhymed over them? Like most records it's better pitched all the way down, but not better enough to care about.

 

 

Spectre Folk - The Blackest Medicine Vol 2:

Spectres? Blackest Medicine? WTF? You guys are fucking liars. Folk? Sorta, maybe, but there is nothing spectral or black (let alone blackest) about this. I hear major chords, hand claps, shakers, wanky solos and general half assed c86 wanna be shit. I get the feeling that these guys would have named themselves after some dude in some book if they actually read books, not just Pitchfork. This is one of those 45s that's just as dull at 33 (maybe worse?).  

Seagal / Van Damme split LP

Saxon Gregory Productions has been dropping some killer no frills cinema-sonic awesomeness on vinyl. Apparently this came out in 2007, but I just discovered it, and it's been getting some pretty heavy attention around here:
Seagal / Van Damme split LP - Fuck Yeah! I mean, whuh? I mean fuck yeah, but how does that even work? Well, it works like a well oiled machine my friend. This record isn't so much about the men as it is the legend. Each side is a collection of audio from trailers for these warriors greatest cinematic moments. The generic background music and over the top folley / sfx really steal the show here. Which, is pretty amazing, considering how captivating the narration about men in worlds fighting things against odds can be. If you're into mass media, bad assery, the 90's, or taping shit of the TV, you'll probably agree that this is one of the best records ever.